Beverly Bullock

Honestly, I don’t really know how to begin an artist statement, besides that I am Beverly and I am autistic. To some my life may seem easy going, but however, that is far from the truth. In fifth grade I was diagnosed with autism, however, I spent years trying to fight it.  Just last year did I truly accept my autism when I had the hugest autistic meltdown of my lifetime. I have had some before where I don’t eat but 200 calories a day for a month, but this one, I barely even had the energy to walk to the
bathroom let alone take a bite of food.

I spent years and years being someone who I was not and I ended up broken, not knowing who I was, suffering in all the trauma that I have experienced, and taking it literally day by day to survive. Today 1/29/2022 I have finally reached 100 pounds. Just wanted to share that amazing news any who, what helped me get through this time is my husband, my dog, my therapist, and my hope for art.

I am a fashion designer. I have amazing and wonderful ideas that need to get out into the world. From watching Miraculous Ladybug to watching Her Universe Fashion Show, I was able to have inspiration to keep my art going.

I remember when just last year it would take so much energy for me to be able to work on my art for even five minutes, now I can easily work for an hour or
two at a time. I would love to bring my creations and ideas to the world; however, I do not have the funds sadly. I just had to turn down a fashion show that accepted me because I did not know how I was going to afford the fabric, let alone the fee. Therefore, I would love support.

I currently have two fashion collections designed one being based off the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland and another being about Autistic bullying. The Queen of Hearts speaks to me, because what if she was a good person like me, pushed into traumatic situation one after the other and finally breaks, but when she couldn’t fight no more, she had no support or no will to keep fighting so she turns to the dark side.

I feel like at that moment in time it was my make or break it time. I could have gone one of two ways, well technically three, the third being letting that meltdown take me where it could have gone. I still choose to see the light in the world despite how much darkness has happened to me.

Will I always have the vivid dreams that come with the PTSD? Yes. But I have hope that as I get stronger, I am more able to deal with it. Like the ball stays the same size, but the glass gets bigger and stronger so it will not break. I am not fighting though.

I decided to accept who I am. When I was a little girl I would spend hours upon hours on the weekend crafting, going to crafting classes and taking any moment I could to soak it in. However, as I got older people forced me to be who I was not because it wouldn’t support a lifestyle and I ended up defeated, but I am not fighting that anymore. I have a vision and I want to bring it to life.

My autistic collection is 8 dresses that would walk down the runway and as they walk down the models would be neurodivergent people or all autistic but I don’t know if I know that many people to be honest, and they wear their sensory aids, their mobility aids, their fidget toys, their stims and once they get to the end, they remove the puzzle piece fabric on their dress to show each one saying one word: Nothing

About Us Needs Solving Stop Autistic Bullying. At the end of the show, the puzzle pieces would be place together on a huge canvas and an artist would spray paint, paint, or whatever they want to it and make it into a beautiful piece of art as well. So, these are just two of my visions. I hope this is a good artist statement.

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